Wednesday, April 13, 2011

"What's wrong with getting married young?"

Mr. Sojourner & I May 1999; 1 year and 1 month before getting married.

I was reading a discussion board where a lady asked, "Do you want your children to get married?"  I read many responses like this: "I want my child to be happy, and if they want to get married- great, but I don't want them to get married young."

This got me thinking: what is wrong with getting married young?!

So, I started another discussion asking just that.  I also shared my story:
I got married at 18 and started having kids at 19. This isn't what I thought I wanted when I was young, but I am so happy and have no regrets.

If I would have done things they way I thought I wanted to once upon a time I would/have:
*Gone to college to be an elementry teacher which I now know I would have regreted.
*Been in debt over a degree I wasn't happy with.
*Forced to work FT because of said debt.
*Maybe not have had as many kids as I do now because of all that.
*Not known the joy of being a stay-at-home Mom that I never in a million years would have thought I would do and love the way I do.
*Dated, lost pieces of my heart to, and been heart-broken by multiple guys.

I realize everyone's stories probably wouldn't be the same as mine.  And, that getting married young is not right for everyone.  But, I know many people who married young and are very content.

Over and over I read responses like this* (*this is one statement that says all of the many things people said so you have some idea): "When you get married young you miss out on thing like: living life, sowing your wild oats, going to college/getting an education, traveling, making mistakes, being sound financially, enjoying single life, enjoying life without kids, gaining work expereince, falling in love and have your heart broken, having fun, etc.etc."

All these responses really threw me for a loop.  I don't feel like I missed out on on anything for marrying young, but I guess that's just me?  These responses also shed some light, for me, on what is truly viewed as priorities in Western culture.

What are your thoughts on this issue?


1 comment:

  1. I'm with you, I think these people are nuts! I also got married in 2000 and I feel like my life didn't BEGIN until I got married and had children. It's what I had been wanting my entire life. Loving life and making memories with my family is more amazing than I ever thought possible! And I think the things mentioned (like enjoying life, getting an education, traveling, making mistakes, enjoying life, etc) can all be done with your family, why do you have to be single to do that? perhaps the only one you'd need to be single to do would be to "sow your wild oats" but in this day and age who on earth wants to do that???


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