"What's wrong with getting married young?"

Mr. Sojourner & I May 1999; 1 year and 1 month before getting married.

I was reading a discussion board where a lady asked, "Do you want your children to get married?"  I read many responses like this: "I want my child to be happy, and if they want to get married- great, but I don't want them to get married young."

This got me thinking: what is wrong with getting married young?!

So, I started another discussion asking just that.  I also shared my story:

I got married at 18 and started having kids at 19. This isn't what I thought I wanted when I was young, but I am so happy and have no regrets.

If I would have done things they way I thought I wanted to once upon a time I would/have:

*Gone to college to be an elementry teacher which I now know I would have regreted.
*Been in debt over a degree I wasn't happy with.
*Forced to work FT because of said debt.
*Maybe not have had as many kids as I do now because of all that.
*Not known the joy of being a stay-at-home Mom that I never in a million years would have thought I would do and love the way I do.
*Dated, lost pieces of my heart to, and been heart-broken by multiple guys.

I realize everyone's stories probably wouldn't be the same as mine.  And, that getting married young is not right for everyone.  But, I know many people who married young and are very content.

Over and over I read responses like this* (*this is one statement that says all of the many things people said so you have some idea): "When you get married young you miss out on thing like: living life, sowing your wild oats, going to college/getting an education, traveling, making mistakes, being sound financially, enjoying single life, enjoying life without kids, gaining work expereince, falling in love and have your heart broken, having fun, etc.etc."

All these responses really threw me for a loop.  I don't feel like I missed out on on anything for marrying young, but I guess that's just me?  These responses also shed some light, for me, on what is truly viewed as priorities in Western culture.

What are your thoughts on this issue?

Holding Hands

Mr. Sojourner & Me; picture by Jenny Monier.

I didn't realize just how much I loved to hold Mr. Sojourner's hand (and how often we had held hands) until we moved to Africa and it was no longer culturally appropriate.  We do our best to be culturally appropriate here and I think that is a good thing, but there are days I miss things like wearing my jeans and holding Mr. Sojourner's hand.  We recently took a ten year anniversary trip to London and that was the beginning of my realization of how I missed being able to show a little PDA towards him.  (Like holding hands and the occasional kiss!)  I think I held his hand the majority of the 6 days we were there and when we got back, that was the thing I missed the most!  To make up for this we usually have one day a week (our day off) where we shut the doors, close the blinds, and "let our hair down" (so to speak).  I usually wear jeans, we all speak only in English, and I sit close to Mr. Sojourner while holding his hand-- all without having to be conscious of culture.  Now days, I savor those moments where I can feel Mr. Sojourners strong, masculine, and comforting hand wrapped around mine.  What an awesome feeling.

Savoring those special moments,

*Linking up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky for Tuesdays Unwrapped.

***Please be sure to come back Thursday and share your travel tales and tips!  Hope to see you then. :)

(You can grab a button in the sidebar.  And, you can click the above button to read more about the linky party.)

Marriage Minute: "Let Me Count the Ways I Love You"

Mr. Sojourner & Me as high school sweethearts.

Last night while Mr. Sojourner an I were lying in bed waiting for sleep to come we exchanged "I love yous" as we normally do.  Mr. Sojourner added a playful and quick "Why?" response.  Then, since I was in a silly mood, I proceeded to sing-song "Darling Dearest let me count the ways I love you..." Which was followed by a list of many of the things in which I love about him.  It was a lot of fun.  But in the process I realized that I simply don't tell him all the things I love about him and how very much I appreciate him nearly enough.  I sure do love that man!  

Still very much in love over eleven years later.

Picture by Jenny Monier.

So here is a "Marriage Minute" Challenge:  Why don't you consider telling your husband or someone else you love all the things you love about them this week too?  You could do it in a silly song like me or you could think of some other way.  Be creative!  Maybe a note or a series of texts; let your creativity flow.  I think I am going to try this with the Little Sojourners this weekend too.

Did you try it?  How did it go?  What creative way did you use?

Thanks for stopping by,  

Marriage Minute

We all know Marriage is something that takes work, commitment, and a lot of grace.  Marriage Minute is a place to take a moment and reflect on how to improve as a wife and helper.

Top posts:

Let Me Count The Ways I Love You

Striving to be a better wife,