It Went Something Like This...

One of the discussions we had at the gathering spot in the village last week was about our upcoming trip. It went something like this:

Them: You are going to America?
Us: Yes.
Them: All of you?!
Us: Yes. All of us.
Them: The children also?!
Us: Yes. All of us.
Them: Your whole family?!
Us: Yes. All of us.
(At this they broke out into a discussion amongst themselves.)
Them 1: Do they have to pay for the children to go also?
Them 2: Yes, I think so.
Them 1: Do they have to pat for each of them?
Them 2: Yes, I think so.
Them 1: Even the little one?!
Them 2: Yes, I think so.
Them 1: Do they have to pay for a seat for each of the children too?!
Them 2: Yes, I think so.
Them 1: Are they the same price as them?!
Them 2: I don't know.
Them 1: It must be very expensive!
Them 2: I agree!
Them 1: [Shaking his head] It is not like a green machine* (Side Note: A green machine* is a van type public transportation that they stuff full and then some with things and sometimes people hanging off.)
Them 2: [Shaking his head] No, it is not like a green machine*.
(They then turn back to us.)
Them: You are all going?! Your whole family?!
Us: Yes, all of us.

Just in case you are unsure after reading that: we are, indeed, all going to the U.S. together.  All five of us.  Even our children.

Leavin' on a jet plane (in 112 hours),

The Last Month

So the last month my posts have been few and far between, but I promise I'm still here.  The short of it is that our family is on the brink of (or maybe in the midst of; still not quite sure) what we call in overseas living "burn-out."  We're tired, we're homesick, and we're discouraged.  The last month or so we have been in survival mode.  Putting one foot in front of the other.  Taking it one day at a time.

We made the decision that for our month's vacation this year we would head home to the U.S.  (Probably not, okay most certainly not, the smartest financial decision.)  But, it came down to heading home before out job is done, or heading home for a time of encouragement, refreshment, and most importantly the love of family and friends whom we miss dearly.  We decided the later was the best choice so a month ago we booked our tickets and informed our family and friends.

This month I have felt a little like the "little engine that could" trying to make my way up the mountain.  Tomorrow will be our last visit to the main village we work in until we come back in late December.  Just like every visit this month, I am dreading tomorrow.  Last week I dreaded it as well, but at the end of the day was so happy to have gone and experienced all that I had, but simultaneously exhausted and drained within an inch of my life.  I am hoping and praying that when we get back from the U.S. this stage will be over because, frankly, I am not enjoying this roller coaster of emotions.

6 days.  In 6 days I will be stepping on to an airplane for the bazillion hour trip back the the U.S.  I can't wait.  But, at the same time, I have the feeling of sadness that it will be over in the blink of an eye.

This Pumpkin

Cost me one dollar.  And, my toe.

My toe will never be the same again.

A week ago we went out of town.  On the way home we saw some beautiful looking pumpkins on the side of the road and decided to stop.  We pulled over the car.  I opened the door.  I was attacked by 3,729 ladies on the side of the road each trying to sell me their pumpkin.

Their chosen method of salesmanship?  Get as close to me as possible and shove the pumpkin in my face.  I know, right?  Awesome.  When we get pack to the US I am going to enroll my Little Sojourners as Girl Scouts and teach them this method of selling things (while eating all of their Girl Scout cookies and gaining 375 pounds in the process).  I am then sending them to your house.  I think it will go over well; don't you?

So, as I have 3,729 pumpkins shoved in my face I scan the crowd for the one I want and start negotiating price with the seller.  (By that I mean: I ask the price.  She says $1.  I say, "Sweet!"  She has no idea what I said.  And, I agree to buy her beautiful pumpkin.)  In the meantime, a really diligent saleslady has taken her pumpkin (the biggest of the lot, I'm talking H-U-G-E!) and is holding it with one hand through the crack between the door and the car.  It is apparently too heavy and she drops it from above my head onto my toe.

Don't worry the pumpkin didn't break!

Which way is home?

You know you have absolutely, positively, no sense of direction when you are trying to make your way home in a taxi (which consequently is falling apart, so you are hoping it stays together long enough to get home) and things look familiar, but you still have no idea which direction home is.  Then, your four year old (who got her father's sense of direction; thank goodness!) tells you, "Mommy, we just passed it!"

You tell the taxi driver to stop.  You get out and you're still, for the most part, lost.  You ask your four year old which direction home is.  She points and leads you.  She takes you the several blocks delivering you directly to your gate.

When you get home you write a blog about it so the whole world knows your shame: a four year old is smarter then you.

A really cute four year old, though.

Needs a map and compass,

American Dreaming

There is a slight possibility that the Sojourners will get to go "home" to the US for a short vacation in November-December and to say that we are excited about even the possibility is quite an understatement.

We miss our family and friends a lot.  It's been 16 months since we have seen any of them.  16 months is a long time.  It's about 1/3 of Little Sojourner's life.  We hope that this slight possibility turns into getting to hug the necks of those we love very soon.  If it doesn't we'll be sad, but we will still rest in His love for us knowing that He will carry us though.

So, since this possibility presented itself the Little Sojourners and I have been singing.  It's not very pretty (we will not be the next Brady Bunch or anything like that), but it is a lot of fun.

Do you remember the movie An American Tail?  If so, do you remember the song "There are no cats in America"?  Well, the Littles and I have made our own fill in the blank version of that song that goes something like this: "There are no _________ in America and the streets are filled with ______________."  The first blank we fill with things that we don't quite appreciate about Africa.  (Please forgive us, we are in no way perfect.  Though there are many things we love about Africa, there are also many things that drive us crazy, or drive us crazy some of the time.  We chalk it up to culture shock.)  For instance: garbage, beggars, motos, pot holes, foreign language, to (pronounced toe; kinda like congealed bland grits), dust, malaria, etc.  Then, the second blank we fill with things we miss and can't wait to see/have.  For instance: family, friends, air conditioning, reliable electricity, clean running water, Chick-fil-A, Disney World, English speakers, shopping malls, McDonald's, grocery stores, Dr. Pepper, chocolate chips, bacon, etc.

"There is no garbage in America and the streets are filled with Chick-fil-A!"

At least like Fivel and his family we can pretend until our bubble is burst.

Dreaming of America,

When Power Outages Happen

As they often do in Africa.  Instead of dwell on how much we are sweating without our fans, or how much we aren't able to get done when the power is out, we try to make it a game.  You never know what exciting thing we will do when the power goes out. 

We may play tag by moonlight complete with a courtyard full of delighted squeals.  We may sit on the porch and enjoy the cooler breeze complete with the entertainment of the beautiful stars God filled the night sky with.

We may have a "fancy" candlelit dinner.

Complete with placecards.

We might have story time with Daddy by flashlight complete with the excitement of the Little Sojourners getting caught up in the way he tells a story.

Or, we might relive all of our Disney moments while we each share out favorite memory, favorite ride, favorite show, etc. complete with magic that cuts through the dark.

You just never know what might take place when the power goes out at our house.  It's my hope, though, that even in these seemingly inconvenient moments we are making memories with our kids that they will remember for years to come.

Unwrapping our little moments in the dark,

*Linking up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky.

Cutie Patotie

 This cutie comes to see us tied to the back of her older sister (the sister is somewhere between the age of 6-8 I would say) and doesn't seem to be frightened of us (as are many village children becasue in their words we are "so white!") as long as her big sister is close by.  The Little Sojourners just think she is adorable and love to play with her.

She has an extended or swollen belly button.  We see that a lot here.  I think it is caused by a hernia, but I am definitely not an expert.  I wonder if there could be any other causes.

Sometimes I wish I had a medical background so I could help the many in need here.  Other times I selfishly think that if I did, I would probably be more overwhelmed then I already am at the sight of so many in need.  I pray everyday that He would help me to make a lasting difference; no matter how small.

Here she is with big sister.  Aren't the two of them beautiful?!

Kind regards,

Picture Time!

When we go to the village it is culturally appropriate to show respect to the chief by going to visit him in his courtyard.  Each week we go and spend sometime with him.  He is very welcoming and enjoys helping us with our language.  A couple weeks ago I took this photo of the chief and one of his daughters and Mr. Sojourner and Little Sojourner.  The contrast that struck me in this photo was their demeanor in being photographed.  Mr. Sojourner and Little Sojourner have their biggest smiles on ready for the picture.  The chief and his daughter have serious faces on in anticipation of their photo being taken.  This is just a cultural difference.  African just tend to take photographs like that (unless they have been around and been influenced by lots of Westerners).

Wedding Day!

Today we are heading to a wedding of a friend.  This will be our second wedding experience here in Africa.  (The last one was a couple we did not know.)  I am pretty excited about this one because we actually know the groom (his family are some of our best friends here) and (I have to admit this one is probably the one I am more excited about; I'm only human!) the wedding is close enough that I got sleep in my own bed last night!  Seriously, our last experience was a little overwhelming mostly because of the lack of sleep.  (Sleeping next to one of the goats that is going to be lunch the following day was not a great experience.  I swear he knew he was going to be lunch and was not going out quietly!  Not too mention that the village was seriously partying until about 5am and then all the other animals in the village were wide awake.  We did not get much sleep and therefore had a hard time staying awake for the 3 hour ceremony in a language that is not our own.)  So, today I am optimistic that our second wedding experience will be better. :)

I'll share more tomorrow.  Hope you are having a great Labor Day weekend!

*Update, they had a very small ceremony which was switched to a school day so we didn't get to go, but they will have a big celebration when rainy season is over (and they can save up enough for the feast).

Nigeria in the News

So, someone posted this article about Nigerian happenings on Blog Frog.  It is very sad.  Take a look.

I posted this response:
"I have not seen this in paticular here (where I live), and am not a cultural expert, but this coincides with some cultural differences I see here (also in West Africa). Nigeria (as do a lot of African countries) has highly animistic peoples. Some have been influenced by Islam and a few have been inlfuenced by Christianity, but the core animistic beliefs are deep-rooted and often mixed with the other "new" beliefs. This is definitely the case in this story. I have seen some "Christian" literature from Nigeria and it is quite alarming. The spiritual world is real and very frightning to them. They spend much time, money, effort, and thought in appeasing the "spirit world." Whereas in western culture we think hardly at all about it and explain everything by science.


Also, children are viewed differently here. I think this plays a little bit into this article as well. I still don't have a full grasp on it and can't even really explain it yet. For example, people here (in general) do not mourn for a child who dies. It happens often. To them, it is just the way life is. They accept it. (They will mourn for an older adult who has had a long, full life more often then they will mourn for a child. It is more excepted. It makes no sense at all to me.)

Please do not think that my explanations mean that I in any way condone this. I believe that all human life is precious and a gift from God. I have seen many things in the past 1 and 1/4 year living in Africa that has left me questioning African world-view and there have been other things that have caused me to question my world-view. This is a case of the former.


Thanks for sharing the link. Praying for truth to be taught, heard, understood, and practiced amongst these people."

Had you seen the article or heard about this?  What are your thoughts on it?

Child Labor, Causes, and Fatalism

Living in Africa and seeing/experiencing another culture has often made me ponder.  Sometimes I question African worldview, often times I question the "Western" worldview, and other times I question my own worldview.  I think all of these are good things and one of the many reasons I love living overseas.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about the "causes" people get behind and how much sense they really make (or how much of a difference they really make).  I know this probably sounds very fatalistic.  I admit over a year living in a third world country has made me at least a bit fatalistic.

Let me give a few reasons/examples behind this view before you hate me.

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." -Chinese Proverb  Great idea.  Sometimes easier said then done though.  You teach him to fish.  He can't afford the equipment (like a net or a basket) so you buy it for him.  He uses it for a while and is able to feed his family.  Awesome.  A child gets sick.  He can't afford the medicine they need.  He sells the equipment to get the medicine.  Back to square one.  (True story, by the way.)  You teach a better farming techniques.  Things to make soil richer, crops yield more, and to keep people from doing damage to their backs.  They laugh at you.  "This is not the way my grandfather did it.  Or his grandfather."  They won't try.  Their children go hungry.  Or, they do try it but either too little or too much rains come erasing their hard work.  (Also true stories.)

Malaria is a huge killer here.  There are many programs to try and fight this.  Here are just a few.
Nothing But Nets
Project Mosquito Net
Nets for Life
They get a net through one of these programs.  They use it for a while.  It gets hot.  They stop using it.  Someone gets malaria.  They use traditional medicines.  The person dies.  This is life to them.  Death is accepted.  Or, they get a net.  They use it for a while.  It gets a hole.  They do not repair it.   Or maybe, they get a net.  Someone gets sick or a feast is coming and they need money for a goat so they sell it.  (Not necessarily true stories that I have seen or heard of, but definitely true to the African way of thinking.)

In particular I have been thinking about campaigns on child labor and child labor laws.  I have not witnessed these things in other countries but I know here that child labor is essential.  The school year (if a child is able to attend school) revolves around rainy season/planting and harvest so that children can help in the fields.  If they didn't help then their families crops would be less.  They already most likely do not get enough (or at least nutritional enough) to eat and if they did not contribute to the work they would get less.  Do they lose their childhood?  I don't think so.  They do learn responsibility and know what it is to contribute.  They still play and have fun like other kids around the world, they just also are an essential part of their families survival.  So, this causes me to wonder (and I have not studied this at all  [or seen it] to know if children who do work in other countries (though it may not be in a field) must do these things to contribute to their families' and their own survival.  Therefore, by making this a cause are we hurting them in the long run?  Like I said these are just raw thoughts without much (if any) research except for what I witness here in the country I live in.

A little girl maybe 2 or 3 carrying a hoe as big as she is as she follows her Mama (who is carrying the girls younger sibling on her back) to the field.

That is all the fatalistic examples I have energy for today.  Maybe I will share some more another day.

What are your thoughts?

Processing the world around me,

Learning a New Language

It sounds glamorous and adventurous.  I thought it would be.  I'm finding it really isn't.  I took 3 years of Spanish in high school.  No problem.  This is not the same.  Living without any English and having to actually function in the language has many challenges.

Some days I understand what I hear and can convey what I want to say.  Other days, I feel like a total idiot.  I like the days where I can function better.

It probably doesn't help to live in a culture that they love to laugh.  Not with you; at you!  Sometimes the sight of a white person (i.e. me!) is enough to make someone break out in laughter.  Other times it is the sound of a white person trying to speak their language (i.e. me!).  Getting laughed at takes some getting used to!  After 1 year and 1/4 I'm slowly getting there.

Some of my favorite language blunders that I know I have made (because I am sure there are many that I don't even know I have made!):

"I washed myself with my house helper."  I meant to say: "I washed the dishes with my house helper."  A slight difference.

"I have to go home and cook a sacrifice for my family." I meant to say: "I have to go home and cook dinner for my family." I had been translating the story of Isaac's sacrifice.  Sacrifice was on my brain.  (I can never spell sacrifice right; thank goodness for spell check.)

"Can you go buy us a fetish (basically an idol) at the market?" We meant to say: "Can you go buy us some charcoal at the market?"  The look on her face was hilarious.  Like jaw dropped to the floor.

In those instances it is really easy to laugh at ourselves!

So, today after a year studying the local language Mr. Sojourner and I were tested.  (Insert jeopardy music here.)

I was super nervous.  I thought I was going to throw up.  (TMI?  Sorry.)  I really had not hit language learning very hard this summer with our normal language tutor working with the Peace Corp., the kids out of school, moving, being burned out, etc.  So, I thought that this was really not the best time to be tested.  I was ready for bad news.

But, alas, God is merciful and good and a help to those in need (and I was very much in need of some help)...we passed!  Sweet.  Thank you Lord.  You are awesome.

Can you believe when we come back again in a few years we will have to learn another language?  What in the world did I sign up for?!

Basking in His goodness,

*Linking up with Try New Adventures Thursday at Alicia's Homemaking.

Little Helper

We're slowly getting there.  I think the main reason that it is taking so long to unpack is because the lack of storage space.  Where to put all this stuff?!

African houses are built without closets.  Our last house had been previously rented by other ex-pats and so it had a wall-to-wall unit built on one wall in each bedroom.  I didn't realize how awesome this was until I no longer had it!  Isn't that how it often is with life?

In our new house our NGO has provided us with an armourer for each bedroom, which we are super thankful for, and we are now learning to be creative with storage.

The Little Sojourners have been good sports about the house being filled with boxes while I figure this puzzle out.  Here is Little Sojourner helping to unpack the box of fridge magnets.  Apparently we thought these were essential in moving to Africa and more then two bras were not?!  (Remember I lost my brain.)

Isn't she a super cute little helper?

We have the older versions of these fun sets:

They have been great for learning phonics and practicing spelling.

One box at a time,

When Life Gives You Limes

Make Limeade!

I got the birthday package my Momma sent to me.  It's awesome to get mail isn't it?  It's super awesome to get mail when you are homesick and living a bazillion miles (that might be a slight exaggeration) away from your family and friends!

My favorite thing in the package?  A new bra.  Seriously.  Do you know what Africa has done to the two (don't get me started on my reasoning for only bringing two bras?!  I like to say I lost my brain when we packed.) bras I brought in 14 months?!  It is very, very sad.  I felt like a new women today in my new bra.  Amazingness.  It is really weird not to be able to go buy a new bra when you need one.  That's a whole other post.

My second favorite thing in the package?  My pampered chef citrus press I ordered last summer.  I totally forgot I bought it since I never have been able to use it yet.  Mr. Sojourner brought me home some limes so we could try it out.  We made some really great limeade.  Yum!

A bowl full of limes halved.  Juice squeezed out.  Water added.  Sugar to taste.  And, viola. :)

Sippin' Limeade,

Electrician

When the electrician comes to look at a few ceiling fans he comes on a motto (pronounced mow-tow; think cross between a motorcycle and a moped) with his assistant; no room for a ladder.  He asks you if you have a ladder.  You do not.  He then asks to use your table.  And a step stool.  You are sure he is going to fall and break his neck.  He does not.

He runs an errand to check on a part.  His assistant stays to take a nap in your courtyard.

He will return next week to fix the fan.

This is Africa.

Smiling,

A Little Backwards

Little Sojourner demonstrating how it's done.

For my first eight plus years of parenting I taught my little sojourners how to sit at the table, eat over their plate, use a napkin, politely decline when they didn't like something, etc.  You know...all the normal manners stuff!

Then, for the last year I have been teaching them (and me!) to squat around a communal bowl, eat with your right hand, eat out of "your section," not reach across or step across the bowl, eat even when you don't want to know what it is, be gracious when those who have very little share what they have, etc. etc.

You only eat with your right hand because your left hand is your potty/nose picking hand.  Literally in the local language "right" is "rice side" (the hand they eat rice with) and "left" is "nose side" (the hand they pick their nose with).  Awesome.

Now if I could only convince my kids not to pick their noses at all.  We don't have to be that cultural!

Learning as I go,


*Linking up with Tuesdays Unwrapped at Chatting at the Sky!  Also linking up with Try A New Adveture Thursday at Alicia's Homemaking.

14 Months

Little Sojourners & Cousins

It's been 14 months since we have seen a single family member or friend and I'm not going to sugar coat it; it's hard!  Even when we lived far away from family we would make long 10-13 hour car trips to see them at least once, but most years twice a year.  That's not really possible here.  Just one plane ticket back to the US is around $1,500-$2,000 and we would have to do that times the five of us, so coming home for a visit isn't quite an option!  Somedays it's a little overwhelming.  Don't get me wrong...we love our work here and we wouldn't trade it for anything, but we just get a little homesick sometimes.

Life goes on back "home" and sometimes you feel left-out or forgotten.  Of course it's not true.  There are many people missing us just as much as we miss them, thinking about us, praying for us, etc.  We know that in our heads but it can be easily forgotten on a bad day when skype or internet is not cooperating and all you want to do is talk to someone who you've known for more then 14 months.  Then you just have a good cry and tell God how you're feeling and keep on running the race.

We have made lots of great friends here from all different countries and we are so very thankful for those friendships.  I know when we do go home we will miss it here.  It is a part of us now.

14 months down; 25 more to go.

Pressing on,

Things They Say Here...

But not in the US.

"Give me your ____." (watch, outfit, etc.)
Translation: "I really like your _____." (See above fill-in-the-blanks.)

"I want to marry your daughter." (Who is 9, 7, or 4, btw!)
Translation: "Your daughter is very beautiful."

"You are very fat." or "You are gaining weight!" (Said like this is a great thing.)
Translation: "You are beautiful." or "You look great." or "You must be wealthy to be able to eat that much." or "Your husband must be wealthy to be able to feed you that much."

"You are thin." or "You are losing weight."
Translation: "You don't look good." or "Can't you afford to eat?"

"You are a bean eater."
Translation: "You fart!"

"You eat like we give medicine to a goat."
Translation: "You can't stick your whole hand in your mouth to eat like I can."

"May God give you a husband."
Translation: "You really should get married."

"If God wills."
Translation: "Don't count on it."

"I don't have any money." or "I don't have enough money."
Translation: "I don't want to but the bazillionth ______ that someone has tried to sell me today." (phone card, apple, bag of water, plastic juicer, plastic toy gun, pirated DVD, kleenex box, smelly thing to hang on the rearview mirror, etc.)