Sharing on Saturday: My Elephant, Loneliness

Before we moved overseas several wise people shared with us that anything that is an ant-sized issue or problem on that side of the ocean will quickly be magnified to an elephant-sized issue or problem on this side of the ocean.  Little did I understand how true that would be.

This week I have been following along with Melissa's series on loneliness and it has really hit me hard.  She is a talented writer, mother, wife, and follower of Christ.  When I found her blog a month or so ago I was struck by her honesty and transparency.  I think more of that is needed between brothers and sisters in Christ particularly.  She shares her real struggles.  I connect with that.  I am thankful for people like her who are willing to be real even when it opens them up to be vulnerable.

In particular, her post "the secret about loneliness is..." made me evaluate where I am right now.

"And that’s not the extent of my crazy.

When I’m talking to someone, I watch them for signs that they’re tired of the conversation, and usually end up abruptly cutting it short. In my friendships, I assume that any reluctance to get together is actually evidence that they don’t like me anymore, so I cool off towards them. If people don’t read my blog posts or comment on what I’ve written, I want to shut the whole thing down because, obviously, I have no talent for it and no one cares." -Melissa Brotherton

First of all, I love that she calls herself crazy.  I can so relate! 

I seriously started this blog because of a lot of the same things she has shared in this loneliness series this week.  Living overseas has amplified my feeling of loneliness and isolation.  The lives of those I love back in the US are going on with out me.  It's not always easy to swallow that.  There are very few people who make an effort to keep in good contact with us and out of those there are even less who care about our lives here (i.e. want to actually here about what is going on with us).  I watch carefully for those clues and when I can tell someone doesn't care about the things we have to share, then I stop sharing.  The number I share with is dwindling.  I still talk to the others (if I feel like they want to talk to us) and then we spend the whole time talking about them.  Which is somewhat good because I get to hear news about things going on back "home" but it also leaves a huge void for me.  To process all that is going on here, all that I am learning, all that I have seen, all that I am going through; I have to talk about it. 

That's why I started this blog.  About five people I know in real life know about this blog.  Some of that had to do with our security.  (We have to be careful about what we share and those who know us may slip-up in this.)  A lot of it has to do with my craziness issues.  I've figured out that most people in my real life could care less about hearing about my life.  Thus, I started a blog as an outlet.  Now, those few of you that actually read this are subject to my craziness.  (Insert crazy laugh here.)

The last part about people not reading her blog or commenting and wanting to shut the whole thing down made me really laugh.  That is exactly how I felt this week!  (Thus very few posts.)  But, I came to the realization that even if no one reads or comments I am still getting to write about things that I am processing therefore I still need this blog.  So, you are not rid of me yet!  (Insert more crazy laughing here.)

P.S. Be sure to stop by and check out Melissa's blog!

*Linking up to "Share Your Faves" at It's a Blog Party!
Struggling with my elephant,